Backdoor Bluebird

Saw this little cutie out my new backdoor...





Blessings on your day,

Cohabitation

How cute is this?




Blessings on your day,

Aloha With A Kiss

Did you even know that Hershey's makes Kisses with macadamia nuts in them??





I selflessly bit into one to prove it to you...





and look at the little banner!





Have I mentioned that I am going to Hawaii?

Aloha my friends,

It's A Giveaway!

It's that time of year again for the Department of the Army Digital Photo Contest. I submitted several entries through Fort Polk And some of them won! These are the selections that have been forwarded on to the Department of the Army level.

Beautiful Reflections

Frozen Gate

Snow On A Fence



Sitting Alone

Now for the giveaway....
Leave a comment voting for which one you think might win. Then, if that photo wins 1st, 2nd or 3rd place at the Department of the Army level, I will send you a free 8x10 of that photo!! The results are usually released around February.

Ps ~ Even if you don't want a print, you can still vote. :)

Blessings on your day,

New Generation Evangelism

I have been published!! PWOCI has been working long and hard on a cutting edge way to reach women with the message of PWOC, which is the message of hope - the Gospel - Jesus Christ. I had the most humbling privilege of participating in this new tool. Some of my pictures have been used to help portray the thoughts and feelings in the magazine!

You can read a little more about the process HERE


and you can flip through a digital copy HERE

It Is Well...Continued

Fall has come to our little neck of the woods. I say that lightly because it's not cold yet. But the leaves are changing color and falling off of the trees anyway and this very week Thanksgiving will arrive.

There have been a LOT of major changes in the Sing4Joy household these past months and there are more to come in the near future. I don't deal well with change generally speaking. I am most assuredly a creature of habit. However, these words have been the theme of my heart for these last months.....It is well.

Come December 1st, my husband will be unemployed. We have picked up stakes and moved to Texas after 8 years at Fort Polk, LA. There are a lot of things about military retirement that we didn't fully understand such as; we still get medical coverage, but we now have to pay the premium. That comes out of retirement pay. Then there is SBP. We opted in for it, but we have to pay for it. That comes out of retirement. We are still carrying a little bit of debt that we want to pay off before we begin building the big house. And until the big house is built, we pay rent at the shanty next door. I have a new job at 38 years old at Hobby Lobby that I love but it is quickly becoming apparent that at my current rate (seasonal, part-time) it will not pay the bills. It is also really hard not to see everything in terms of how long I have to work to be able to pay for that. On my feet. For hours.

On November 11th-14th I attended the MOST AMAZING CONFERENCE EVER in Dallas, TX. I have been planning all year for this conference. Transcribed hours of sermons to pay for it. And waited and prayed and waited and prayed for it to finally come. There are a trillion things to talk about this weekend but the main themes for me are this....

Kari Jobe led worship for us. Also, I met her and she signed my sheet music. She is truly a gifted worship leader. I could be friends with her.
Priscilla Shirer was the keynote speaker. Wow. Just wow. She is intelligent, funny, well studied in scripture and totally relate-able. I met her too. I could be friends with her too.
Engage your strengths. Do what God has designed you to do and watch and listen for what God has for you to do. Just be ready. He will provide the opportunities.

The most striking thing that happened to me happened as I was leaving the conference on Sunday morning. It hit me like a freight train out of nowhere that this was it for me. This would be my last official PWOC function. I was saying goodbye for the final time to a way of life that I have known for about six years now. I was saying goodbye to so many friends who I will not likely cross paths with again and I will no longer (as far as I know) have the identifier of being a PWOC'er. Hello tears. Where did you come from?? I was waving my hands in front of my eyes and trying to exhale the overwhelming emotion out like all those other ladies who I usually do not identify with. I'm pretty sure some people ran away from me.

We still haven't found a home church here. It can be a discouraging process. I don't have a group of women to connect with on a spiritual level, to dive into the Word of God with, to join in ministry with here.

With all these major changes going on in my life, my identity, my place in the world, with all the unsurity that there can be in the world (yes I know that's not a word). I am truly content.

I honestly do not know what the future holds for us. I do not know how the bills are all going to get paid or the big house is going to get built or how my feet are going to survive or if I will have any room to continue my photography career, how the housework is all going to get done ~ and yet ~ I am content. I know that God is sovereign. I know that He loves me. I know that He has a plan for me because He has told me so. I am truly excited to see how my future unfolds and where He takes me.

It is well with my soul.

No Time!

Lordy! Busy day! I have only time to put up some pics from today. I will try to do more as we go, but geesh. I just don't know. Maybe Whimzie or Hisgirl will have a better story about today with more details...


These are what fun look like. What a wonderful day and I have made a stack of memories that will touch my heart and make me smile in the future.



I am blessed to know these women. And look how sweet they are to me....

Say What??

It snowed at my house. And it stuck. Overnight.

Remembering Our Veterans 2009

Thank you to all who made the choice to serve. Thank you Dad. Thank you Honey.

Epiphone

Beautiful lines of a beautiful instrument.

Clouds

I pulled off the Highway to take this picture today.

It's Not Dominos But It'll Do

Text from S4J to Hubby in the barn: Oven baked sandwich from Dominos?
Hubby's response as he walks in the door: No
Text from S4J to Hubby across the living room: So, no oven baked sandwich from Dominos?

I am starving! And I want an oven baked sandwich from Dominos. Greasy, melty, cheesy, bacony, crispy, clog your arteries but you can't care because you're so happy goodness.

What's a girl still in her pajamas to do when her Husband refuses to retrieve her heart's desire for her? Fend for herself I guess.

This horrible craving is relentless in its pursuit of my tastebuds. I must have garlicy flavor. NOW.
You may already know this, but I am not a cook. I am perfectly capable of cooking and can make a good meal, but I have no love of the art form. I don't enjoy the process or the clean up. In fact, food usually tastes better to me when someone else has cooked it. And when people talk of how they made this wonderful meal from scratch and it was such an enjoyable experience, I'm sure I look at them like they are aliens. Poor aliens.

Today, for lunch, in the grips of intense craving, yet unwilling to go out for myself to retrieve lunch(I'm in my pajamas) I had to do that very thing; provide myself a meal from scratch using only the ingredients we had on hand (pajamas, pajamas - stay with me here.)

I made myself a fantastic meal. I had wheat spaghetti noodles boiled in chicken broth, cajun seasoning and garlic salt. Slathered them with I Can't Believe It's Not butter and grated parmesan cheese. Like Jenster, I forgot to take a picture before I ate it. Well, okay Jenster just takes one bite and then remembers. I was just.so.hungry.

I pulled a loaf of some sort of fancy italian bread that I had gotten on the sale rack at W*mart out of the freezer. I thawed it, then sliced two chunks from it, applied ICBINB, garlic salt, and parmesan cheese which I cooked in a pan with roasted minced onion and finally melted some mozzarella string cheese on the top. Served that with my version of bruschetta with the first harvested tomato of the season from our garden.




That was a super delicious lunch! Made from scratch. By me. AND I have enough noodles left for lunch tomorrow. It wasn't Dominos, but it'll do.

Hubby redeemed himself by running down to the corner to get me a diet coke.

Then my daughter asked, "Why didn't you just have Dominos deliver?" She's grounded.

For Real?

I have just as much going on as ever. I noticed this moment however, that I am just not sitting down to write about it. (Also not sitting down to do much reading.) I really enjoy the medium of blogging for relieving my brain of my thoughts, and also to keep people up to date on what's going on with our world. So - it seems that sometimes I just need to be more intentional about it. Which is the case with a lot of things in my life. I'm certain I am not the only one. There are only 24 hours in a day - you can't change that so you have to choose how you would like to use them. Anyway.... maybe I'll write more about that later. Right now, I wanted to tell you about this cow....





We are continuing the renovations in our home (no I have not forgotten to give the final reveal of the master - I am just still working on making it swanky) and the current major work has been taking our 13 year old daughter's room down to the studs, reconfiguring, rewiring and rebuilding to beauty and ever so cute teenager domicileness. My daughter is a saver of things. Like; everything. Empty rolls from papertowels. Shoe boxes. Things, things and more things. No clue where she gets that from. "PURGE IT" is what I always say.

Anyway....

The rule is that nothing is going back into that room if it does not have a place to be. I mean NOTHING. And there were a few things that went straight into a box labeled, "Not even if it has a place!" The cow was one of those items. It's atrocious. It is a bank. And as you can notice, the giant hole next to the giant purple udders is missing its plug. Therefore it can't even be functional. It's just a blight on my view.




My daughter noticed the cow in the, "No way on God's green earth" box and promptly proceeded to make a case for it. Really? For real? I tried to talk with her about how really and truly ugly it is. Unphased. How she couldn't possibly care for it as much as she thinks because she didn't use it for anything. Unphased. How the fact that it has 2 inches of dust on it tells me that she really doesn't love it at all (yes those are dust streaks from the cow on the table). Unphased. She is certain that this cow must remain in her room. She has promised that she WILL give it a prominent place of display and she WILL keep it clean.

What's a mom to do? The cow stays. However, the girl has been informed that the first time I swipe dust off it, it goes straight to the trash. Not.even.a.yardsale.

God help her future husband.

Whoa Nelly!

I have 1900 unread posts in my Bloglines! And I just wrote you a whole update post about what I have been doing that has been borrowing my time. But I got ADD and left the page without saving. So BOOOO, the whole post is gone!

I've been working quite a bit and will leave you with a new pic. I'll try again to write soon.

copyright Sing 4 Joy Photography 2009

The Road To Healing

Back in December I shared with you (in a rather dark-humored way) that our eldest daughter (who has been estranged from us) was expecting her first child. I also shared with you my hope that there would be a day that we would be allowed to hold his hand. I knew that God could bring healing to this situation, but I had no idea if He would and certainly could not see how it could be done. It felt so far gone. This is where your faith is tested, wouldn't you say? I have prayed for healing, friends and family have prayed for healing, and then we sit and watch and wait and trust.

This week, we watched our daughter receive her high school diploma and not only did we meet our grandson, but sure enough - I was allowed to hold his hand. And now he holds my heart.



There is much, much more to this story that I may never be able to share. I can't begin to know how God softened her heart to even be in our presence but our time with her went so far beyond that. Our family is on the road to healing. To God be all the glory, honor and praise. AMEN.

My children. ALL of my children. Together. *sigh*
May 2009

Saw It Sunday

Saw this today....

Master Bedroom Renovation And Other Updates

*Safety Remarks* FYI - no cameras were harmed in the photoshoot of It's Fashion. We take the utmost care here at Southern Living to insure the safety and comfort of all of our cameras. There is no need to alert PETC. Thank you.

Update on Hubby's Arm - He has been on antibiotics since Sunday for the cellulitis in his arm. It has continued to spread out from his elbow in both directions and reached halfway to his shoulder and halfway to his wrist throughout the week. It now seems to be very slowly subsiding while still making him feel crummy and looking generally macabre.

Update on Master Bedroom renovations - Can we just make this about me for a second? Okay thank you. I am so beat! Holy Cats. Tired. Tired people! Also, please note that Jenster called me HAWT

Update on Master Bedroom renovations for real - Although this is taking way longer than we wanted it to, it is coming together. The wiring is finished, the walls are finished and painted with Cincinnati Hotel Carl Tan, the flooring is 9/10 installed. We have the baseboard, crown molding, trim around doors and windows, painting of the doors, installation of the new ceiling fan, installation of switch plates and outlet covers, and the finishing of the closet left to do, but I do believe we will be moving our bed back in today(If I can finish the touch-ups on the bed frame).



*all the walls are the same color. Some of the pictures were taken with flash, some without.

Bittersweet

My dad received these during a lunch with an old friend the other day. He had taken them in 1976 when we lived in Westminster, CA. He had heard about my brother's passing and dug them out to give to my dad. So thoughtful!

The first two are my dad and my brother, and I bet you can guess who the fashionista is sitting with the cutey little boy and his car....


Yep. JEN-YOU-WINE fur coat baby.

Just Dropping By

Oh my beloved internet! How I have missed you so! The Amish, they just do not understand me and you and our relationship. My dear, sweet lovely internet. I now know that I could never marry Jacob Yoder and have his Amish babies. Poor poor Rebecca Lapp, how does she live without the wonders of web browsing? I'll never know. I will try to fill you in on all my adventures since we have been separated from each other, but for now, I will leave you with a picture postcard....

The Declaration of Independence
(c) Sing4joyphotography

Confident Trust - HooHaws And TahTahs

This post is going to take the long jump WAY over the line of information that you may want to know about me, so you may want to reconsider and come back for a less personal post. The ultrasound results are in and if you just want to know those, you can scroll down to the big bold text toward the bottom.
You have been warned.

Yesterday was the big UroGyno appointment. My day started way earlier than I would like because the doctor's office is 3 hours away. On my way out the door, I saw THIS on the counter...



Rockin'! It's already a great day. I was really having stress about this appointment because I felt like we are really getting to the end of the road for options and doctors who could possibly solve this problem. Plus, I made the mistake of investigating the doctor's website where I read things like 'urodynamics' and 'robotic assisted gynecologic surgery' and 'cystoscopy' and all manner of torturous things. Praying and being still was the only thing keeping me from flying out of the car and hiding in Mexico.
We were able to find the office with little fuss and went straight up to get signed in. They had sent me the paperwork to fill out in the mail, so I had already done all that. And I had worked really hard to make sure that Dr. Urogyno had all my previous records and was hopeful that he had had time to read them prior to my visit. These are the things I had with me that brought me comfort...
Took my Chicas with me in the form of my chickie socks that were gifted to us at one of our retreats. You guys were even with me during the exam of neverending torture.

This is my most beautiful, quilted, Bible study bag - hand made specially for me. I will make a special post just to show you this bag, and even tell you where you can get one. It was so peaceful to just hold the handle and rub the beautiful stitches and know that each one was placed there in love for me. I rubbed the handle almost the whole way up there.



I also had the comfort of being accompanied by my husband who had returned from his efforts in Texas. Thank You Jesus. On the way up there he offered such a sacrifice to me that if this became too much, then I could tell him and we would stop pursuing it. That he loves me and we would work it out. I cannot tell you the relief I felt and the overwhelming feeling of someone being willing to sacrifice out of love for me. I didn't ever know that I would see my husband modeling God's love for me.

Finally, I had my Bible. Speaks for itself, does it not?


The nurse took me back to the exam room even before my appointment time. That happens like once in century. My husband came too. She said, you two can go ahead and sit in the chairs over there (bypassing the ominous stirrups). She told us that the doctor likes to talk a lot before he ever examines. We sat and waited and waited and finally the doctor came in - yes, 15 minutes AFTER my scheduled appointment time. Which I was a little irritated, but not a lot because I figured, you know, maybe he just hadn't had time to go through my records yet and so he was doing that now. I mean I guess I can't expect him to take my stuff home and read it over dinner. Sadly this time left to ourselves in the girlydoctor's office, caused us to ponder if doctors such as these subscribe to magazines such as vagina weekly. When he came in, he had an electronic notepad. Made all his notes on there. Conspicuously absent were my medical records. Hm. So, we talked for a while about what was going on with me. I said - oh, I made sure to have my records sent over. He said - oh, I don't have those. I raised my fists in the air and growled out loud. Here is the thing - not only do I not want to spend my office time rehashing all the junk that you can read - I CAN'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING. I NEED YOU TO LOOK AT MY RECORDS SO YOU CAN KNOW WHAT WAS ALREADY DONE FOR ME. So we talk some more, he gives his thoughts on what it could be - he's pretty sure at this point that it is Interstitial Cystitis, which I say, I believe me and all my very personal friends had ruled out. But he explained that it can be illusive in certain kinds of tests but there were some good ones that were pretty sure to identify it. Yes, well I don't know if those have been done because we do not have my records. He talks about the option of physical therapy, which just sent me into a tailspin of trying to imagine what on earth kind of physical therapy you would DO for the tip or your urethra.
So he says, okay - The blue one there goes on top, open to the front - the white one is for your lap; I am going to step out while you COMPLETELY undress because we are going to examine you from TOP to BOTTOM. Yes, I said from top to bottom. TahTah's to HooHaw and beyond. So, my husband and I have one of those retarded discussions. "Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble. If I stay it will be double...." I am stressed, and my mind is going a hundred miles an hour and I can't possibly know what to do. My poor husband really doesn't want to stay, but doesn't want to be a jerk if I want him to stay. So I think, he really does not need to see what is going to happen to me. He'll just have to read about it. Haha. So we agree that he can go out and about and I will call him when I am finished.
The doctor comes back in and tells me all the things you girls already know - place your feet in the stirrups, and lay back. As he is doing the breast exam I tell him about the 'mass' that was found on my mammogram and he says, "Oh? I don't feel it. Don't feel a thing." Then looks at me and says, "It's nothing to worry about." So he finishes that and then on to my abdomen and pelvis. Poke poke poke (Do you know that that hurts? Geez.) He finishes that portion of the move to the south and then he moves to the end of the table and says ~ say it with me ladies ~ "Slide on down to the end of the table." WHO can 'slide on down'?? There is no graceful way to get to the end of the table. None. No not one. But, truly, at this point how lame is it that I am still caring about my dignity? Do I honestly think I have a shred of it left? By the way, I had had a discussion about this the prior evening with my Chicas, and as a result, I literally laughed out loud when he said that. Thanks girls. So, as previously discussed, over the last three years we (me and my personal friends,otherwise known as every doctor in the southeast) have determined that it is the TIP of my urethra that is the problem area. And as we also know, each new person that comes to the party has to determine that for themselves. He did the most thorough interior exam I have had to date.
Does it hurt here?
No.
Here?
No.
Here?
No.
Here?
No, just when you bother the tip on your way to "here".
Okay, here?
No.
Here?
No.
Here?
When is the last time you had intercourse? We tried yesterday. *Wishing that the table would just swallow me whole*
Hm. Does it hurt here?
Um, I can't tell if that hurts or if you are pulling on the tip.
Okay, here?
YES!!*My foot automatically responded by making contact with his nose, and my thumbs went in my mouth.* *Well, maybe that didn't EXACTLY happen.*
That IS the tip.
YOU THINK?*Some crying going on now. Trying so hard to be brave*
Here?
No.
Okay, yeah - it is definitely just that tip.
Thank you. It is nice to have confirmation of that. Again.
Now you are going to feel some pressure in your Anus.
HOW have I not completely dissolved from utter humiliation?
Okay good.
I want to rule out those std's that we talked about before and I can do that with swabs, so we'll do that now. Tell me if I am hurting you.
Okay *quiet tears* (That really hurt; my urethra AND my heart.)
I don't think you have either of those things, but at this point we need to be sure to be certain we have ruled out all possibilities.
After that was all done, he let me sit up so we could talk about what he thinks now that he has done an examination. He is less convinced that it is IC, but he wants to have certain tests done for that because, again, at this point we have to be sure that we are certain we have ruled out every possibility. HE, however, does not do those particular tests. Only a urologist can do those tests, and you may remember that my urologist moved his practice to Houston.
SO - guess what?? I get to go see YET another new doctor. Oh but the exciting news does not stop there. No. There is more. I have to wait until Dr. Urogyno (who can't do some urology stuff) tells my primary care manager that I need to go to a urologist and then wait for HIM to request the referral from Tricare. Hopefully without requiring me to make an actual appt and come back in to discuss the whole matter. And then wait for THEM to process it.
So where was I? Oh yes, our course of action. He tells me that I am not really a candidate for physical therapy because my muscles are all in great shape. Except, of course, for urethral massage. Mmhm. He thinks, that when I had my weekly sessions with my gynecologist for this lovely adventure, that we just didn't do it enough times for long enough. That it really could help to desensitize the area if given proper time and attention.
So, what I want you to do, S4J is to MASSAGE YOURSELF TWICE A DAY FOR FIVE MINUTES. EVERY DAY. AND KEEP TO IT. DON'T GIVE UP. You are the best person for the job. You are very in tune with your body, you know exactly where the problem is and you can just reach in ~ and I am not kidding here folks~ he actually made a motion at himself of 'reaching in' and wiggled his fingers to give me the general idea of what I would be doing.
Keep on taking the Neurontin - it's a great idea - take it long term. It will need time to take effect. And go get those tests. I am sorry, but there may be no answer to your problem. We may just have to do pain management. Has anyone suggested numbing creams or gels such as lidocaine?
Oh yes. Been there, done that. No worky. Not.Even.A.Little.Bit.
Okay ~ we will have the results of the std tests by Monday and we will call you. I will call Dr. S and request that referral. And you will do the things I told you and we will go from there. You can go ahead and get dressed and head out.
Thank you and goodbye.
Now I am weary and sore and sad and tired. I clean up. Get dressed and slowly walk out of the office cause walking is painful. Call my husband as I am heading down in the elevator and we make our way to the car. Slowly. Did I just have a baby?? Geez.
Hubby offers to take me shopping as we drive by Hobby Lobby. Had to say no. Had to say no to all shopping because I wouldn't be able to tolerate the walking. So hubby found us a big city place to eat lunch - The Macaroni Grill. Here is our table covering. (As always, you can click on the pic to enlarge)

We finished lunch and decided that we needed to get on home as the kids were riding the bus home to an empty house if we didn't show up. I was really done with the day and just wanted to get home and sleep it off. In my room. With the door closed. And no one else there.
Sorry. Not yet. On the way home, we got this....




For this...


Wow. That is a day. We got home, I went straight to my room and went to my bed. With the door closed. And no one else there.


I finally heard today back from the hospital about my ultrasound! The ultrasound shows that the mass is a cyst. That it has no blood supply of its own and the follow up needed is a mammogram in six months. Thank You, Lord for mercy.

I am most sad that I missed the opportunity to tell Dr. Urogyno that he has not met my God if he thinks there is no solution. I pray that the Holy Spirit takes over next time and gets the job done where I am lacking.

Again I say...

In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You, Lord, alone make me dwell in safety and confident trust.
Psalm 4:8