Thursday, October 30, 2008

Chicas Of Faith 2008 - Riddle: How Do You Get 5 Booties And 450 Pounds Of Luggage Into A 4 Passenger Vehicle?

Answer: You don't. Aint no way on God's green earth that is going to happen.

So, I have a little confession to make. I have been ~just a little bit~ waiting for someone else to tell the rental car story because I actually do not really know all of the details. Perhaps no one has figured out how to tell the story in an edifying Christian fashion.....I will tell you what I know and then hope that someone else will pick up the details.

We finally got the Cali Chicas' luggage and hopped a shuttle to the rental car company who shall remain nameless because I don't remember it due to the pending lawsuit. We entered the line to await our turn to receive assistance from a representative of the rental car company, and as we are waiting, we begin the discussion of how best to handle the rental car gas tank. Pay ahead and risk over paying? Don't pay ahead and risk not having time to gas up, hence - over paying? Don't pay ahead and be sure to fill up the gas tank on the way into the airport? I, being the most reasonable of the group, gave my opinion; "I am not a driver on this trip AND I am in the group that leaves 2 hours before the other group. Therefore, I do not have to have an opinion on this subject." Thank you. As we are running through this discussion, I happen to spy the businessman in line behind us just looking at us all in awe. I smiled and laughed, he smiled and laughed and then asked, "Is it always like this??"

Me: "Worse."

We all shared a good laugh, and then I had an epiphany. I am not a driver on this trip (you, being very observant, would have noticed this already) I don't have to stand in this silly line. I am going to enjoy one of the leather chairs in the corner and get out of peoples' ways. So, I excused myself from the ladies (still trying to decide what to do about the gasoline) and made a beeline for the chair.

This was a wonderful place to sit and watch weary travelers as they came and went, hoping for things to go smoothly so they could just peacefully continue on their ways. It did NOT, however, give me a good view, or auditory awareness of what was happening with my Chicas and OUR rental car.

As I sat and sat, pondered taking a nap, watched people, and sat some more, this couple came in.... I would say, older - maybe late 50's - early 60's - and the lady of the couple has bright red straw hair with the black/gray roots about 2 inches grown out. She is wearing black jeans, and some kind of black rock and roll tank top - and sportin' some tattoos on herself. She tells the man of the couple that she will wait here with the luggage whilst he secures their next mode of transportation. She then proceeds to show me the tear in her luggage and explain to me that the airline, rather than unzip the suitcase to inspect its contents, cut a 3 inch gash in it, in order to get at the 'powder' substance that showed up on the x-ray. When all the while, said 'powder' substance is just chili powder and she cannot fathom WHY they would destroy her luggage over packets of chili ingredients. She is just outraged. Outraged I tell you.

I, after expressing my condolences to her regarding her defamed luggage, and while watching her do her yoga poses in the rental car office, suggested to her that it looked like a tear that might have happened during transit. She could not accept this possibility, as it was clearly ridiculous and unfathomable.

"Why," you ask, "Do you have time for all of this? Shouldn't you have driven off like, hours ago??"

Refer to my confession above. Beg someone else to tell the story to you. I got nothin'.

I also saw a man come back in with the keys he had been given and complain that the car he had been assigned to was filthy and disgusting and that he was not accepting that.

There was also a man who came back in with the keys to the car he had been assigned to saying something about how it was a smaller car than what he had reserved and paid for and he would not accept that.

Me? I just sat and sat. I thought sure that I heard the voices of some of the Chicas here and there, but passed it off as them excitedly speaking to each other...

FINALLY they made for the door, and I made to follow them. We found our assigned car and worked to load the luggage, hook up the BEST TOOL EVER fondly named, "Madge", and pile us ladies in so that we could meet our date for dinner in King of Prussia. I don't really understand what was happening, but the girls were sort of randomly looking around and saying things like, "Oh! We don't have one of those??? Well what is THAT and THAT and THAT? Hmph and haw and fuss and hmph."


We worked to tell Madge where we were wanting to go and waiting for her to direct us and had a wee bit of a glitch with that so, we called our date to clarify where, exactly it was that we were meeting her - and then we were on our way!! Yahooo!!

I'll put up a teensy post in a little while just to show you what I have been up to lately...


His Girl said...

HAHAHA! Next time I will go and sit next to you rather than exercise my Christianity in trying to behave well when what I really wanted to do is beat up the rental car lady.

i guess it's me who is going to have to post the rest of the story. Maybe tomorrow morning.

God's Guitar Girl said...

Oh, I've got the scoop, too. TRUST ME -- I'll follow up on this, but it might have to be in a day or so. It's only 0615, and I'm already trying to figure out how on earth I'm gonna sqeeze a nap into my day to fight off the headache I can feel coming back! haha!!

Never fear -- I will add my insights to the recounting of the vehicle debacle!