Friday, February 29, 2008

Momentarily Distracted

How Deep IS This hole?

Ugh. The hole is getting deeper. And I am tired...

BUT HEAR THIS! God is doing mighty works. Growing pains are called growing pains because they are so fun and sweet. NO! Because they are painful. Cliches are cliches because there is universal truth in them. But do you want to stay 2 foot 4 for your entire life? How will you reach the counter at Starbucks?
Today our study was talking about Elijah and how he had come up against all the dumb prophets of Baal and how Elijah was this big talker and had this huge success with God. And then the next day a lady with a bad temper sent him a note threatening his life and he ran away scared and asking to die. (into a cave mind you. where I would like to join him for a lengthy nap). But God sent an angel to him and what did the angel say? He said, "GET UP". and then some other stuff - but you have to start with GET UP.
You don't get to quit because you are scared or tired or unhappy. You get up. You eat and prepare for the long journey(yes, you get to rest - A LITTLE BIT). And then you trust God and go.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Letters From War

Feb 4

Thanks for getting me some shoes. I will try them out tomorrow.
Everything is going okay here. I'm very tired and my knees hurt today, though. I don't think it's anything to worry about.
I'm keeping a journal here. So just in case anything happens make sure you look for it.
I'm doing my best to stay safe for you. I try not to go outside during the times I shouldn't. I lock my door whenever I'm in my room.
I have been eating pretty good and usually remember to take my vitamins. I didn't even remember how old I am when someone asked the other day. :)
I just wanted to send you a quick letter to brighten your day.
I think of you all the time.
I love you

Letters From War (excerpts)

Honey, Try not to be sad. You should go outside and get fresh sunlight on you, it will help...
I love you. Stay strong.

That's What She Said (Favorite Blogger Comments)

Nothing like humor to perk you up! Letters From War prompted me to post this blog I've been 'collecting'
Thanks to all the contributors!!

In response to old guy asking me if I was 'on the nest'....

Gretchen said...
The reason they think they can say anything is because sometimes they happen to be demented.
Mama P said...
On the nest? I haven't heard that either. If I had known it meant "are you pregnant" then I would have responded, "Yes, my husband, although he is in Iraq, has very fast traveling sperm."

Mission Possible:

Jenn said...
Who knew a potty could be so pretty?
Shauna said...
How is it you make pictures of bathroom fixtures and work tools look like a work of art! All soft and amazing. I would hang that on my wall!! No joke.
Alana said...
...I'm not really a screwdriver girl...

Wednesday Word Of The Day "idiopathy":

Jenster said...
I'm sorry for your experience with idiopathetics!
Jenn said...
You should be proud that they started a syndrome for you! :o)

Yucky finances:

His Girl said...
unfair!unjust!you want me to go kick someone's tail for you? cause i will.i totally will.
Marsha said...
WHAT is letterboxing? Like kickboxing only you kick out signs with writing on them?
PJ said...
I don't know about letter boxing either.. You're searching for runaway alphabets and put them in boxes????
Linda said...
Oh man, you are a riot. I'm loving your posts. You are very real and deserve a medal for coining "oragami driving."

Preparing for becoming a parent:

Gretchen said...
re: Lesson 5, you must stuff the octopus into the mesh bag whilst it's trying to bite you and without harming a single suction cup on its little legs.

Real Mom:

Zeek said...
:::mumbling::: stupid person behind the counter /:::mumbling::: whadda they know anyway? hmpf
His Girl said...
dang. now i have to hop back on a plane and kick some dmv lady booty!
PJ said...
...I'm pretty sure that the DMV "lady" (With a capital B) is wrong.

Peecan Weevils:

His Girl said...
you are so gross.and odd.and disgusting.terrible nasty poetry.nicely done.

Peecan Weevils Revisited:

Jenster said...
Okay. Here's a haiku -Pecans are yummyBut weevils make them not soStupid icky bugs(Now picture my clap and snap, snap, snap, snap)Groovy, baby.
His Girl said...
amber's are SO grossand SO oddand SO disgustingyour poetry is SO nasty.and your BFF is gross put the evil in weevil, chicabahahahahah!

Being sad:

Gretchen said... light of your sadness, I thought I'd cheer you up a little by saying that my microwave is clean now (she ducks away, hoping a plate doesn't come through the screen). xxxooogretchen

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Gotta Keep Singing

Ever have times in your life when you just want to crawl into a hole and 'wait it out'? There's a lot going on in my world right now that I can't really blog about, and a lot that I have blogged about. I am sad. I am at a loss as to what to do. Except this: I know that God is on the throne and I want to love Him so much that His glory is my first priority. I'm not there yet, but I'm going to keep singing through it.

A Love Worth Giving

This is the Inspiration section out of this week's section in our study of Ephesians (It is an excerpt taken from Max Lucado's A Love Worth Giving)

What would it be like to become flesh?

This question surfaced as I was golfing recently. Waiting my turn to putt, I squatted down to clean my ball and noticed a mountain of ants beside it. Must have been dozens of them, all over each other. A pyramid of motion at least half an inch tall.

I don't know what you think when you see ants on a green as you are waiting to putt. But here is what I thought: Why are you guys all bunched up? You have the whole green. Why, the entire golf course is yours to spread out in. Then it occurred to me. These ants are nervous. Who could blame them? They live under a constant meteor shower. Every few minutes a dimpled orb comes crashing into their world. Bam! Bam! Bam! Just when the bombing stops, the mallet-swinging giants arrive. If you survive their feet and sticks, they roll a meteor at you. A golf green is no place for an ant.

So, I tried to help them. Leaning down where they could hear me, I invited, "Come on, follow me. We'll find a nice spot in the rough. I know it well." Not one looked in my direction. "Hey, ants!" Still no reply. Then I realized, I don't speak their language. I don't speak Ant. Pretty fluent in the idiom of Uncle, but I don't speak Ant.

So what could I do to reach them? Only one thing. I needed to become an ant. Go from six feet two inches to teeny-weeny. From 200-plus pounds to tenths of an ounce. Swap my big world for their tiny one. Give up burgers and start eating grass. "No thanks," I said. Besides, it was my turn to putt.

Love Goes the distance...and Christ traveled from limitless eternity to be confined by time in order to become one of us. He didn't have to. He could have given up. At any step along the way he could have called it quits...He didn't, because He is love. And "love...endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:4-7 NKJV). He endured the distance.

If you're playing the game.....time to clean out your microwave oven. GO!

Friday, February 22, 2008

POP! Goes The Weasel

Last night the Twins were bickering off and on throughout the evening. I became a sort of ticking time bomb like a jack-in-the-box toy. With each quarter turn of the handle, you hear a 'plink' and the tension builds. Girltwin to Boytwin: "Will you please stop doing that. *plink* Will you please stop doing that. *plink* Will you please stop doing that *plink*." "Will you PLEASE stop doing that. *plink*Will you PLEASE stop doing that. *plink*Will you PLEASE stop doing that." and on and on. Later on Boytwin to Girltwin: "Will you please stop singing. *plink* Will you please stop singing. *plink* Will you please stop singing.*PLink*" "Will you PLEASE stop singing. *PLInk* Will you PLEASE stop singing. *PLINk*. Will you PLEASE stop singing. *PLINK*" And POP goes the weasel.

I LOST it. The irritated, frightening, frustrated figure exploded out of its box and let loose. "WILL. YOU. STOP!!!?? What on EARTH is the matter with you people?? Why can't you JUST. STOP. SINGING?? And why can't YOU just PUT. SOME. HEADPHONES. ON??" "DO YOU REALIZE THAT YOU ARE NOT ONLY BEING NASTY TO EACH OTHER BUT THAT YOU ARE CAUSING ME TO SUFFER BECAUSE I HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT TOO!? "You need to work on being LESS SELFISH!!"

When I finally settled into my room for the night, I found this 'sticky'd to my dresser.

*sigh* My son..... Did the very thing (without being told) that I should have done when I felt the spring tightening. He went to God's Word for guidance and correction. And then he quietly, without even attempting to make his case, brought what he had learned to me. *sigh*

Two things:
1.) A Pastor in California has brought this quote by C.S. Lewis to my attention, "Surely what a man does when he's taken off guard is the best evidence of what sort of a man he really is. If there are rats in the cellar, you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly. But the suddenness doesn't create the rats it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of a provocation does not make me ill-tempered. It only shows me what an ill-tempered man I already am."
2.) I plug along and plug along wondering if my little people are hearing ANYthing I am trying to teach them. And then God gives me a little piece of fruit to chew on and be thankful for and while doing so, shines the light on the work that I need to do too.

Jack photo courtesy of keithcorcoran on Flickr
© All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Wordless Wednesday

As iron sharpens iron,so a friend sharpens a friend.Proverbs 27:17

Click on the picture for the rules.
Mission: Wipe down your washing machine...GO!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Gosh And Golly And To God Be The Glory!

I am in an abundance of surprise blessings! I tell you THIS: Blogging has been an incredible outlet for me. I started writing to suit myself; sort of an online diary, if you will, to be able to get out what's going on in my head and my heart. And to be able to look back and remember where I've been and things I've learned, and to give people a chance to keep up on the epic high drama of my life without me having to retell the same story sixtyhundred times.(like have sixtyhundred friends, lol) (plus - some people really don't want to hear me tell my stories with all flair, detail and humor - because they can take FOREVER to sit through.) NEVER did I suspect that people beyond my own circle would read my blog, let alone look forward to reading it; and even less suspected that people would be blessed by it. I am beyond humbled to have been given several blogger awards in recent days. I can't know how to respond to the outpouring of affection I have received from this online community, aka my new BFF's (Blog Friend Forever). And of course, I would be remiss if I didn't stop right here and tell you all that it is my true-life BFF (BEST Friend Forever) who encouraged me to 'put it out there'. She will never know (or maybe she will because she GETS people) how deeply this forum has touched my life. That girl works for God I tell you!

And now, without further adieu....the award and kind comments come from.....*drum roll*
(And FYI - ALL of these blogs are GREAT reads!)

Marsha @ Marsha's Musings sent me...

"I'd like to pass this on to Sing4Joy. She always encourages me to keep writing. Her own posts are wonderful to read, such a mix of humor and heart."

Jenn @ Moments sent me...

"This award is for His Girl and Sing 4 Joy, they are bloggy friends of mine who always have so many kind words to share with others. Check out their blogs, you will be blessed by both of these ladies. "

Jenster @ Jenster's Musings sent me...

"I've decided to pass the "E" rating along to two of my new favorites. Funny thing is, they're related. AND I get to meet them both in the fall. IN REAL LIFE! Sing4Joy at Southern Living and Other Peeks Into My Psyche has a truly Excellent blog. Her husband is currently in Iraq and she sometimes posts these wonderfully touching excerpts from his letters home. She also writes funny, sweet and encouraging posts. Not only does she sing for joy, she exudes joy. Add to that she's now officially a professional photographer and you've got a completely Excellent package!"

Shauna @ The Coffee Stop sent me...

"Sing4Joy has a wonderful blog where she shares about parenting, faith, love and life. Her posts can range from humorous, silly, poignant, artistic, inspiring, uplifting. She covers it all. She's also an amazing photographer and her pictures are absolutely beautiful. Seriously. She turned bathroom fixtures into a work of art."

Becky @ Stuck In Frump, Striving For Fab sent me...

"I'm passing this one along to my 'Perris connection' blogger friends Sing4Joy and HisGirl, whose blogs I always look forward to reading, as their love for their respective families and for their Lord always shine through in their well-written postings. These two bloggers have known each other for a long time, and their friendship just spills all over, enveloping you in, making you feel like you've known them both for years."

Monday, February 18, 2008

Quick, Pick Up The Nearest Book!

Quick, Pick up the Nearest Book!

I totally stole this MeMe from Zeek at The Way I See It
also saw this MeMe at Bits and Pieces

The rules of this particular MeMe are:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence
4. Post the next three sentences
5. Tag five people (although I am not a tagger myself - my nature binds me to at least post the rules)

My book: (Liked very much - a rather clean romance)
Austenland by Shannon Hale
Even so, she found herself hoping it was Mr. Nobley. Instinct urged her to stomp on the hope. She ignored it.

Zeek's book:
Of course, mine is from The Summer Garden by Paullina Simons. (Feel fortunate, the next closest is a Star Trek Star Fleet Technical Manual one of my fellow star trek geek co-workers laid on my desk!)
"When I was in Colditz, that impenetrable fortress, whittling away my life, I wanted to know this." "Looks like you're still there, Shura.""No," he said. "I'm in New York, a fly on the wall, trying to see you without me."

*NOTE* This is a 'G' rated mother reads it...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Direct Quote

Charming old man from church in a very loud voice: "HEY YOU - I'VE BEEN WANTING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION..."

Me: *smiling* "Yes, sir?"

Charming old man from church: "ARE YOU ON THE NEST?"

Me: *recovering quickly* "No sir. And I hope to never be again in my natural life!"

Charming old man from church: "HUH??"


Charming old man from church: "WELL AMEN TO THAT!"

*note to self - step up the pilates - the hunchfront MUST go!*

Friday, February 15, 2008

Letters From War (excerpts)

Jan 24, 08
With everything going on I haven't had much time to sit down and write. I know you prefer a handwritten letter over an email.
...It rained all day today and I must have stepped in every puddle on my way to breakfast this morning. It's usually still dark out when I go, I wasn't doing it on purpose.
Hopefully I'll have my school work drama sorted out long before you get this. That's probably something you wouldn't think would be an issue during a war, school work.
I'm glad you liked those flowers I sent. I thought you could use some color to cheer you up (the purple on your ankle didn't count.)
I'm counting the days til I come home. I miss you. Give my love to the kids (and dogs).
I love you,

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Mission Possible

HisGirl and I are developing a game. In the interest of accountability, taking care of the things God has blessed us with, AND still getting to do the things we want to do (which is chat online and blog blog blog). When we are IM'ing, which we do daily; we will break out with random jobs to do. Sometimes in the form of - "It's a challenge.....GO!" sometimes in the form of, "I'm going to change the laundry" "I'M GOING TOO!"
We are rather enjoying this game. And our homes seem to be happy about it too. Today I said to myself, "Self - why keep this wonderment to yourself?" And myself said back, "Well Self, I can't imagine why we would! Let's tell the WORLD" (oh and I also told myself this: *Note to self* - ALWAYS check the kids' bathroom when someone says they are on their way over because it is also the GUEST bathroom. ICK)

So. You are being invited into the game. Just so you know, this is a game of SMALL missions. For example: CORRECT USE OF THE GAME: Clean one item in the bathroom. GO! INCORRECT USE OF THE GAME: Clean the WHOLE bathroom. NO GO!(You can choose once you are engaged in the mission to go the extra mile if the mood strikes you - but it is NOT a requirement.)
Today a mission I made for myself was to tighten the tank on the toilet in my bathroom. This was so simple, that I moved on to other things in the bathroom that needed tightened. And so the mission became a fun search for loose things in the bathroom. I used simple, common tools,(which are mine and not my husband's) and spent MAYBE 30 minutes in my bathroom. (Taking and editing the pictures took longer than the actual mission) There is now no wiggly or squeaky thing in that place. I am a girl! I did it!

Your Mission: Should you choose to accept it; Think of something anywhere in your house that needs tightened or squeaks. And go fix it!!
Report back to me when you have completed your mission. You can either - make your own post about it with pictures and let me know, or you can share on my comments.

BUT BEFORE YOU GO..... Look at how I completed the mission!!! These are the items that needed tightening or de-squeaking, and the tools I used to fix them.

This one I actually found the little nut on the floor when I was down there fixing something else. I didn't even know the thing had fallen out of the switchplate!! Geez!

And I see that HisGirl, without even knowing what I was doing, has secretly challenged me on today's post.


Word Of The Day Wednesday

idiopathy(id-ee-OP-uh-thee) noun

A disease of unknown origin or one having no apparent cause.

Well, Judi - your urethra problem will have to be in the idiopathy category. Or, if it makes you feel better, we can call it Urethral Syndrome. Here's a pill.

Interestingly this word sort of sounds like a word that a patient made up to describe the medicine being practiced on them....

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

First Conviction, Then Mercy

(CONVICTED) Yesterday, I was sharing my bankingsnafu with the other ladies of the Board that I serve on for the purpose of asking for prayer and I was talking about how it was a grind for us to not have cash available and how it was stressful for my husband because this is a bad situation that I should have handled better and he can't really do anything to help. And at that moment God laid Proverbs 31 on my heart. Specifically 31:11, "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain." (NKJV) This verse says that he safely trusts her. Meaning that his trust is not displaced. That she can, in fact, be trusted to take care of things so he will have no lack of gain. Although I believe that my husband DOES trust me, this behavior calls in to question whether he SHOULD trust me and that, my friends, is a striking conviction. In 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Paul tells me, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right. It is God's way of preparing us in every way, fully equipped for every good thing God wants us to do." (NLT) And back in Proverbs 3:11-12, I am given this encouragement, "My child, don't ignore it when the Lord disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."(NLT)

(MERCY) Today our chapter in our study of Ephesians was on the subject of mercy. And one of the questions was "What illustration from your life would you use to describe what it feels like to receive mercy?" My answer: I had to confess to my husband what I had caused to happen with our bank account. It would have been perfectly understandable if he got angry, if he used harsh words, if he altogether removed the task of handling our finances from me, If he told me how he has enough to deal with just trying to stay alive. But he did not. He calmly expressed to me that he was upset with the situation and that it would work out. This man, my husband, the head of our household, exhibited to me the kind of mercy that comes from God. Unmerited, undeserved and freely given.

I am blessed by my husband and blessed by my God.

Monday, February 11, 2008

My Brother

This is my 37 year old brother. He is very ill. His kidneys have failed requiring him dialysis 3 times each week. He is not a candidate for transplant. Your prayers for his salvation would be intensely prized.

I Am A Professional!

I can now claim the title of Professional Photographer! Today I got paid to take pictures! Tra la la la la...

The Wazzzzup??? Update

Grey Poopon:
Grey Poopon is still here. Today my 12 year old daughter and I built him a doghouse because it is going to rain tonight and he cannot come in the house (cause we are not into furniture decorated by urine) (well, at least not since we've been done potty-training) but he has separation anxiety when we board him in the barn.

We have ads in both local papers and fliers up around town. And he has been posted in the front yard since the morning after we found out he was a urinetrailleavingsuperherodog just in case his people happen to drive by looking for him. No one has called for him, no one has come by. After the ads run their course (7 days from Friday) I will make new ads advertising for a free dog to whoever wants him. His wound is healing and he has nearly finished his course of antibiotics. He loves us and wants to stay. No he may not.

Dumb financial situation: It seems we are dealing with two institutions here. 1.)My bank 2.)The agency they employ to investigate fraud.

This morning I faxed the affidavit with the very much appreciated help of Hubby's work to #2. On the cover I asked to be notified when the affidavit was received. I also called directly following the fax and left a message to be contacted when the fax was received. I then called this afternoon after not having been contacted and spoke with my personal representative who explained to me that when they did not receive the affidavit back, they closed out the case and returned it to #1. Who having no other recourse to recover the money, recovered it from me. Through much discussion and question asking on my part, I came to understand that I am still within the allotted time window that #2 has to investigate the case and that they will notify #1 as soon as the affidavit is entered into the system. Then it is #1's prerogative if they give me money back or not. I can call #2 back tomorrow to verify if the affidavit has been entered and if they have notified #1, so then I can call #1 and beg for sweet mercy and $1300.

My Ankle: I have long since ditched the crutches and the brace. It is still swelling up every night and tender all the live-long day. Not enough to stop me walking. Just enough to be a reminder to me to watch where I am going. The bruising is all gone.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

I Can't Believe They...That's so unfair...Um...Okay...It's My Fault

Just so you know - I love to be told that I have been wronged. I very much enjoy righteous indignation. I also get secret pleasure out of friends who are willing to take up a battle on my behalf out of their sheer disgust over whatever the 'situation' may be. And I will gladly accept all of these things now -- if -- you still wish to give them after I fully disclose to you that my current situation is mostly my fault.

Today was going to be a great, great Mommy day. And I mean GREAT. I was looking forward to taking an adventure with my children. That statement alone is monumental.

I had a note from a bloggyfriend who said she was going to go letterboxing with her family later today. *plink* this wild hair popped right up on my head! I have been considering doing this activity with my children for a long time and today I was going to actually take the leap! AND I was going to let the 15 year old drive us around. *bows* So, we get loaded into the car (she's driving); we stop at the Dollar General for a personal item that we need at home later, gave her cash and sent her in on her own *bows*. Then we head south. We stop at the Dollar Tree so each child can choose a rubber stamp and a journal, and so we can get some carmex for the 12 year old girl's nose cause she has rubbed it raw due to a cold. We are still in a great mood. Excitement is building. I even found a little holder that matches my purse to hold my cell phone. Yay! We even each picked a mystery grab bag.(who even does that? That's right. Get to the check out and ask if I can use my debit card and get cash back. The cashier says, "of course". We go through all the steps; yes, 50 back should do it, pin number, etc etc...
Then the cashier says, "It's denied" "Eh hem. Denied?" I am totally calm at this point. I have seen this happen to many a people (and myself too) - computer is down, pin got entered wrong; all sorts of possibilities except for the possibility that there is no money in my account. That's just lame. So, we try it again. denied. That's weird. Let's try it just as a credit. denied. And you know the other people in line are annoyed and judging you and now your kids are starting to wonder too. Okay, can I write a check? Yes. Done. Can I just point out the irony that I was denied at the DOLLAR STORE people? THE DOLLAR STORE!
So, we load back in the car and I tell the daughter wait just a minute so I can call the bank and see what is up. Bank people say, "Yes, I see where the transaction was denied for lack of funds." "Huh?" "Yes, I see that this morning a transaction went through in the amount of $1265.00 and now your account is actually in the negative." "Eh hem, would you care to explain this TWELVE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FIVE DOLLAR transaction to me, miss telephone teller, as the only stores I have been to today have the word DOLLAR in them?" As she is examining the situation she says it does seem odd, let me check with my supervisor, please hold....So, I say to my daughter - drive us over to the Sonic. So, I am like, well - we'll use my personal checking account to order lunch - but that's all I have room for there because I just mailed the deposit check for our LADIES VACATION RENTAL HOME IN AMISH COUNTRY PENNSYLVANIA. All caps, cause, HELLO, I get to go to Amish Country with my Chicas! But, I digress....she drives around the entire sonic because it's kind of populated at this time of day and she is still very unsure about parking. She did some sort of origami with the car that got us into a predicament in the sonic slot. The right side of the car was about 1 1/2 inches from the menu board thingy on the right side. There was no way I could help her at that point so I told her to just put it in park, I will have to address this later. As the driver of the vehicle, you are responsible for giving drive-thru orders, handling the payment, etc etc. So I told her to go ahead and make the order as I am still trying to sort stuff out with the bank account that matters to this family. And I couldn't fully pay attention to what she was doing, but she is old enough to be in control of a motor vehicle, so she is old enough to stick the card in the slot and push the credit button. It was denied. OH, I might die. I cannot possibly even think how to fix this because I am trying to fix this other one. Then the food comes and my daughter explains to the lady that the card transaction didn't work and the lady suggests trying another card. Why not? I am on planet humiliation already, let's just open up my wallet and see if we can put it to the Lowe's card shall we? Or how about, this walmart gift card? will that work? WHATever. Now I am behaving badly because I am trying to talk to 3 people at the same time, feed my family, and not cry because the moment of mommy greatness is gushing away at monumental speeds. So, I handed those people the only other financial option there was at this point. The credit card. And try to get back to the telephone teller who, by the way, has transferred me to two other people by now. The credit card worked, the food entered the car, and the kids had to worry about sorting it out and distributing it.

All right - through the series of people I talked with, I was able to piece together the full story. Here is what happened.....Back in Nov. there was a false charge on our account. The bank noticed it immediately, called us, we disputed it, they removed it. They canceled our debit cards. I was just so thoroughly thrilled with how our bank caught it so quickly and took care of it with no pain on our end whatsoever. Hubby deployed. They issued us new bank cards and sent us some paperwork to fill out regarding the incident. I called the people and explained that my husband was unavailable to sign said paperwork at this time. That's fine, note that on the paperwork, you sign it and fax it in. Okay great. thanks.
About a week ago I had a message from the bank, please call us at this number and ext. there is a transaction we need to discuss. So I call the main number of the bank, she says, I don't see anything here that looks suspicious, don't know what they're talking about, but the number you were given is our valid phone number. Okay, but there was no option for me to enter an extension number. She transferred me to that dept and I left a voice mail. Now we're playing phone tag. A couple days later, a message was on my phone with the same number. I call again and listen to EVERY option - there is no option to enter an extension number. Grr. Okay. That was yesterday. I am so irritated that I decide I will call on Monday and see if I can resolve this. It's not urgent.
We're back to today. The 3rd person I spoke with in trying to figure out what on earth was going on listens to the details that I know thus far, and I share with him about how I have been using the new debit card with no trouble to this point, etc etc. He reads through the whole file and says, yes, I see where this transaction was entered and removed, I see the new cards were issued on such and such date and that there were two affidavits sent to you and that neither were returned and so the transaction was reinstated this morning.
Jesus does not love my foul mouth or my foul mind, so He left me the Holy Spirit to help me with self-control. Thank You Jesus.

It all became clear. I did not return the affidavit. I did not return the affidavit. I did not return the affidavit. They have done what is within their right to do and stolenfoodmoneyfromchildren'smouths reinstated the transaction which has left my account in the negative and NO money available for food, gas, nothing.

So, I say to the man. Okay. You can tell me how wrong I am, how this is fully my responsibility, berate me for not taking care of the situation, but can you please help me fix this for right now because I can't even buy gas right now?
Sorry. I don't have the authority to help you with that. The department you need to speak with is a Monday-Friday department. You'll have to call back then.

That's it. I cannot risk leaving town without money. We're done. We have to go home. But first, I am going to eat my lunch. Then we are going to switch drivers because there is no way that my daughter is going to be able to get us back out of the origami without doing damage to something, whether it be our car or the sonic menu board.
Of course, the kids are asking if I am okay, are we broke, are we poor, etc etc. I say, no, it's a mix-up and it is my fault because I did not take care of my responsibilities, but we are fine. We have food at home. And 3/4 tank of gas. But I cannot fix the situation until Monday, so we need to conserve. We'll have to cancel letterboxing and go home.

Sadly, it seems that Facing The Music is going to be a series of posts for me.

spell check is still not working.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Romans 14 (NLT)

Been pondering on this chapter of Romans for a few days now. It seems to hit on questions about Old Testament law observance, how to determine right from wrong in areas that can often seem about samantics; if one is convicted of something - should ALL be convicted of it, and if you're not convicted of it, does that mean you don't have to CARE about those that are; is Sunday the sabbath or not, is it unholy because it's not Orthodox Judaism; and still leaves me pondering the balance between loving God's laws and legalism, but Paul seems to lay it out pretty plainly here.

Romans 14
The Danger of Criticism

1 Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. 2 For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. 3 Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? They are responsible to the Lord, so let him judge whether they are right or wrong. And with the Lord’s help, they will do what is right and will receive his approval.

5 In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. 6 Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 7 For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. 8 If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.

10 So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For the Scriptures say,
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,

‘every knee will bend to me,
and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’”

12 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. 13 So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.

14 I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. 15 And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. 16 Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. 17 For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too. 19 So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.

20 Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. 22 You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. 23 But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.

Friday Update

Just a short note to let you know - Grey Poopon is still here. Today the newspaper ads start running and I am going to copy the flier and see where I can post it. I am going to re-post my note about Wednesday and leave those posts to sit another day.

"Just so you know - I think today is going to be a multiple-post day. I seem to have a lot on my mind! I will adjust the post times so that today's posts can be read from top to bottom. **There are 8 posts all together**"

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Word Of The Day Wednesday

soporose (SOP-uh-ros) adjective
Sleepy; in an unusually deep sleep.
diurnation (dy-uhr-NAY-shuhn) noun
The habit of sleeping or being dormant during the day.
somniloquy (som-NIL-uh-kwee) noun
The act or habit of talking while asleep.

You will often find me in a state of soporose, diurnation or somniloquy; sometimes all at the same time. Except last night. Last night was a flash back to the days of having young babies in the house. Except these were dogs. Big dogs. Annoying dogs. with toenails. that click. on the wood floor.

Apparently We Have A Superhero In Our Midst

This morning when I woke up bright and early to visit the bloggy world before showering and leaving for Praise Team Rehearsal I heard an odd sound. A sound like something falling. Hmmm, could that have been Grey Poopon? Whatever it was, he was securely in the shelter I built for him yesterday and I felt confident that it would be sufficient to stop by there on my way out the door to give him his antibiotic and make sure he had a good supply of food and water. OH, darn - that reminds me that I did not stop in on Marsha's Musings this morning to continue her series of devotions on Psalm 103. Excuse me while I do that - I'll be back in a few minutes.....(or you can come with me - it's proving to be an excellent series)....Okay - I'm back. Wow. She took one verse and just broke it down for me. Perhaps more to blog about later. Now what was I saying? Oh - yes, Grey Poopon. So, I checked my email, and then my bloglines updater and here and there would hear dogsteps that sounded a wee bit close but thought, "Nah, I'm just hearing him in his secure, barricaded area." I caught sight of the time and decided it was time to get dressed. Still hearing dogsteps here and there, but still convincing myself that I'm just imagining them closer than they appear. Got dressed and grabbed my purse, closed my bedroom door behind me and headed down the hallway. Pass the first door on the right which is the bathroom and come to the second door on the right which is 12 year old boy's room. He leaves his door open so that his dogs can go and lay in his room while he is away at school. What do I see in there but this big, bony DOG. WHAT?? AS I am talking to all three of the dogs about the situation and sweet-talking to Poophead Grey Poopon to come with me to his designated area, I begin to see them. Places throughout the house where he has MARKED HIS TERRITORY as though he were Hansel leaving himself a trail to get back home. As I am now muttering to myself about how I wanted to be to rehearsal 30 minutes early so I could set up and make copies and pray at my leisure, I come around the corner and see the barricade that I had installed, still intact and half the stuff that had been ON the counter now on the inside of said barrier all over the floor(some of which actually fell into the food and water bowls left for this 'sick and mamed animal'). Did I mention that there were two barstools stationed in front of the barrier to deter dogs from climbing on either side of it?. So. Here are the possibilities - the dog either jumped over the counter, or jumped over the barricade. We're talking 35 inch-high countertops. (I measured). Oh dear. This is NOT good. "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU NOW?" The kitchen was the only room I could isolate him in that still had the old 70's faux brick flooring in it, while still allowing the dogs who do their business outside access to the dogdoor. I decided I would just have to put Grey out in the dogyard/kennel and block the door so that he can't come back in and the others will just have to stay in the house until I return from Rehearsal because I can't yet be sure that they'll all be well and good if they have unfettered access to each other. So, I block the dog door, get him in the yard through the outside gate and return to the house to grab my bottle of Clorox Clean Up and my unopened roll of paper towels. As I see my time slipping away, I go around the house de-'marking' and de-grossifying. Just as I am finishing up, I hear the neighborhood dogs flipping a noodle. OH NO. Do NOT even TELL me that that DOG has jumped the kennel fence! Oh yes. The 'sick/injured/starving' dog of yesterday is actually a superhero in disguise who can FLY. So, after coaxing SuperPoop Grey Poopon back to the dogyard, I determine that my next and last option for keeping this doof safe until his people come to claim him is to tie him to the tree in the dogyard. THAT was fun. It became quickly and abundantly evident to me that it had been TOO long since I or any other person currently living in this house had picked up the doggiedoodoo in the kennel. You can imagine how it is that I figured this out. Okay okay - enough with the dog drama - I have GOT to go. I stepped back inside to get my music box rolling cart of pink greatness and purse and loaded up into the car. At which time I see that it is 8:30. This is the time that I had intended to be showing up at the Chapel all leisurely like and uber-prepared. Hmph. It takes 20 minutes to drive to post from my house. And now because of all the exertion I had been doing all morning, I have to eat or croak. I called one of the girls to let her know that I would be late and asked if she could please inform everyone else. I walked IN the activity room door at 9:00. Which is what time rehearsal is scheduled to begin. God must have slowed the time-warp-continuum. More posts to follow...


Okay, so when I got loaded into the car to head to the Chapel -(FYI - there are nearly 900 songs on my iPod) the first song that popped up on my iPod was ALL CREATURES OF OUR GOD AND KING and as if that wasn't funny enough to God, the very next song that followed was Aaron Shust's MY SAVIOR MY GOD which starts out, "I am not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned; I only know at His right hand stands one who is my Savior..." As I was driving up in the McDonald's drive-thru, I did the cardinal no-no of bad drive-thru habits - I answered my cell phone. IT WAS MY HUSBAND. I just had to choose to apologize for being rude because, HELLO, IT WAS WAR ON THE PHONE! Ironically, we only talked for the length of time that I was in the drive-thru.
After I had shown my ID to the gate-guard, the next song that came on hit me like a ton of bricks. I have listened and sung to this song a cajillion times but today it was like I was hearing it differently. I saw it being about our oldest daughter, who is 16 1/2 and for reasons of her privacy, I will not get into the details of our situation. She is quickly approaching the age of earthly maturity and it is my prayer that she will come to a place at some point in her life where she will be able to see and accept the love that we have for her. We pray for her each and every day, and I fully admit that I bear some responsibility in this matter and am working that out with God. For now, it has to be enough for me to know that she is in a home where she is loved. I am not asking for advice, or opinion on this matter, just sharing my day... but as always, prayer is appreciated.

I don't know how the story ends....

Rehearsal Went Great!

After I prayed and wiped my eyes and remembered how to walk, I went in to rehearsal. Right on the dot of 9:00am(remember?) For the 3rd consecutive week, rehearsal was soooo good. {Glory to God}. Every single member of the team was present, which is a praise all its own. We have not been immune to the flu/cold/yuck bugs in our commmunity that have been running rampant all over. Our team consists of(all women - cause it's for ladies Bible study) A pianist/vocalist~alto~, A flautist/vocalist~alto(on a cappella pieces)(who rocks praise&worship with that flute!), A guitarist/vocalist~soprano~(fill-in), A vocalist~alto~, A shakerist (?lol) /vocalist~tenor~THAT'sright~tenor~, a woodenspoonist(?lol)/vocalist~soprano~, and me - worship leader/guitarist/shakerist/woodenspoonist/vocalist~soprano~! I am so, so, so blessed to get to be a part of something this great for God's glory!
We are all different musical educational levels, personalities, levels of confidence, and flexibility - yet somehow, these women faithfully come back each week with an attitude of being a team-member and eyes focused on Worship. I adore each and every one of these women for very different reasons except two. They love the Lord, and they tolerate me because of it! Our rehearsal structure consists of each of us sharing one praise (mine was that my pants were falling off), prayer, going through music, and prayer. Although ideally we have 1 1/2 hours set aside for this, it often happens that we have to be done in under an hour for some need or another. For the past 3 weeks of rehearsal, we have been able to accomplish all these things in under an hour without feeling like we had to leave some stuff slightly rehearsed where we would have liked to have spent more time with it. Today, not only did we do that, we actually got to flip past this week's divider to the 'songs to work on' section and go through several of them at our leisure. And there was time for one of the ladies to pick tree out of my hair. It was great!! We all took a trip down to see the improvements that they have been making to the sanctuary of the Chapel and while there, I was humbled by the prayer that our Tenor led us in to close out our morning and send us on our way. I also had a couple of minutes to talk with our pianist about my upcoming recording project. Here is the set that we rehearsed today which we will present for the ladies next Tuesday....
Opener: DAYS OF ELIJAH (Our theme this year is Prepare For The Bridegroom)

I Am No Animal Lover

First, let me clarify, for the record, that I did NOT in any way, shape or form, invite this dog into my yard. And I will also remind the court that I did, in fact, attempt to ignore the animal. That being said, it would appear that I have given the World Wide Web the impression that I am a bleedingheartliberalanimallover. Let me just assure you that I am NOT. I find animals offensive for all the reasons that Shauna listed as her husband's reasons for not liking animals PLUS they are filthy, needy, smelly, and EXPENSIVE. Here is my proof......

This is SuperDoof's Grey Poopon's new living arrangement. That's right. in. the. yard. On a chain, I might add.

Here is a collage of him groveling at my cold, cold, heartless feet...

Here is a collage where you can see that I am getting in his face and lecturing him about failing to reveal his superpower when he arrived on the scene...

although it may appear that he is wearing a new flea collar, and is attached to a shiney new dog chain and tether post rather than a rusty, tetanus filled one, and you may think that you have seen a food and water dish, and that looks like he has a choice between shade or sun to lay in. I assure you once again, that I am NOT a bleedingheartliberalanimallover.

Time To Face The Music (Stinky Music)

Let's face it. The kennel needed to be dealt with. So I attacked it with the pooper-scooper in hand. I filled the bucket nearly to overflowing. Then I raked under the bushes, cause sometimes you miss some droppings when you can't see them through the leaves, and there are broken branches from Angus trying to climb the tree. What? Are stray dogs the only one's allowed to have superpowers? The next order of business - cut the grass. Although the rest of the lawn (especially the part that all passers-by see) is dormant, the kennel grows a bit of grass and some happy winter weeds, and a bit of mint here and there. Plus there are two Gardenia bushes and one other giant one that I don't know the name of that are green all year long, and I am growing vining roses on two sides of the fence - to deter the lovely Madison from digging to china (it's a little harder to do when you keep getting poked). If you've known me for any length of time, you proably know that the push-mower is my nemesis. I do not prefer to use it, however - the riding mower will not fit through the gate. Such is life. When hubby was in Korea the 2nd time,(Oct. '05 to Oct. '06) I had so much trouble with this thing. I could not start it most of the time, and when I did get it started - I actually pulled a muscle in my right arm from the effort of it. The neighbor looked at it - said he couldn't figure out what was wrong - but he did start it for me. I sent that thing to a lawnmower repair guy who claimed to have serviced it and did all he could do for it, and I still could not start it. I know you don't need me to point out how small frustrations like this can become so daunting when you are doing everything yourself. Before hubby went overseas this time, he serviced that thing like nobody's business and says he really doesn't believe the lawnmower guy did anything to it at all, but that he is confident that I will be able to start it with no problem now. PLUS - because he left in November, he did the last mowing of the entire property for the season, because it goes dormant for the winter. I LOVED this. Well, today was the end of that party. At least for the push-mower anyway. After picking up the rake pile, and locking the owners of the property in the house (because they think they are death-defying stunt dogs who need to bite at dangerous-blade-spinning machinery.)I grabbed the key and headed determinedly to the barn, talking with God the whole way about how I was sorry that I had neglected what He had given us and thanked Him for the opportunity to set it right and on such a beautiful day, and how I would sure like to not have to brawl with the push mower. My BRILLIANT idea: I will put gas in the mower, prime it, and attempt to start it IN the barn so that way, if it doesn't start I won't have drug it ALL the way across the yard and have to drag it ALL the way back. And also - if I am unsuccessful, no neighbors will see me and laugh. (Who cares? Oh yeah - my pride. dumb. can I EVER put that down for even a cotton-pickin-stinkin minute??) Guess what? It started! First try! Yay hubby! And THANK YOU JESUS. Okay, so I let it turn off and drag it out of the barn and to the dogyard when I remember that there were a few balls I came across while picking up the mess that I forgot to pick up and move. So I did that. When I came back and pulled the string....the mower did not start. No. I am not kidding. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. I calmly walked to the side of the mower, looked it straight in the engine, and told it, "If you do not start the next time I try you, you will be ferociusly dismantled to your smallest part and mailed by parcel post to different parts of China to be painted with lead paint and made into children's toys." Okay, I didn't really say that. I just primed it again and moved it to the most level, shortest grass area I could find, and it started with just a slight sputter. Do you know that I STILL ran over doodoo? These poor animals. I don't think they had even an inch of bare yard to do their business on. (and I have said a million, cajillion times that I do not exagerrate.). Now the kennel is all nice and clear for!

Those yellow brackets along the fenceline? Yes. They are for hotwire. I completely installed it myself when hubby was in Korea because Madison the wonderdigger kept trying to go to China, or to each and every neighbor's house, or across the street where dogs get smashed regularly. There's no wire on it now because she had stopped digging and we planted the roses to help deter her, but the brackets and the main power box remain just in case I need to hook it up again. Yep. Philippians 4:13 - all the way - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! This was one of the many things I pondered while doing the yard work - the greatness of our God, that when we are in line with His will - we really can do ANYTHING. I also thought about the lessons that I have learned since we have been here in the swamp, the rich spiritual growth I have experienced here, the current study I am taking on the book of love - not romantic love; brotherly love. Ephesians. wondering if I am in the right class this semester - not because of the teacher - she is great - just the study itself. Of course, God has proven over and over again that all things work together for good to those that love Him, and I do. Being real with myself about how much time I spend in the Word, where my thought life goes, and how bright is the light that shines through me. Reviewing my relationships with each of my four children. What can I do better. What housework needs to be done. Realizing that I am still learning some of the same lessons that I have been learning for the past 5 years, some of it re-learning, yes, but mostly learning it deeper and deeper. What is my future role at pwoc - we are coming up on another big PCS (Permanent Change of Station) cycle where, once-again, I will watch as people I have come to care for move on to other places and me having to start all over again with new people coming in. I don't want to. I want to be done with that. Can I be done with that?

Ash Wednesday

Have I even mentioned yet that today is Ash Wednesday? This evening was to be our first time ever to attend an Ash Wednesday service. I don't really know what it means, although I am pretty certain that GeorgiaGirl5 has something about it on her blog. If not, she has a great post about Fat Tuesday. The only experience I have with Ash Wednesday is when we used to attend the Main Post Chapel, I would be waiting for the Catholics to finish their Ash Wednesday service so that I could go in for Praise Team rehearsal and how when they all came out of the sanctuary, they had dirty foreheads. I'm simple. I know. So, I was looking forward to learning more about the church calendar (again over-simplifying, but it has been a LONG day and I am beginning to get a little loopy). Well, 12 year old daughter wasn't feeling well, not up to going to church and so we decided to skip the service tonight. However - Wednesday is the night that we go out for dinner because it is rehearsal night (usually). So we still had to go get food. My 15 year old daughter drove us to McDonald's. Which entailed being on the highway(not like a california freeway - but a big enough deal for us)Where the speed gets up to 55 and once you get into town at that time of day, there is a lot of traffic on the road and it can get somewhat hairy. I explained this to her and asked her if she felt like she was prepared to handle that and she said yes. Thus far, she has only driven as high as 35. I said, all right - here we go. So we loaded up into the car. She adjusted her mirrors, made sure every one of her passengers was securely buckled in, and backed us out of the carport. Once she was facing forward and ready to drive out of the driveway, I told her that if at any point she feels overwhelmed or like it's more than she is ready to handle to SAY SO, do not let PRIDE stand in the way. And then we prayed. 12 year old son asked God to not let us die. (brat) I asked God to protect us. Thanked Him for this milestone in her life and to keep giving her confidence balanced with a healthy respect for the power that she holds in her hands. How on earth did I come to the day when that little toe-headed child who liked to rock too hard on the rocking horse is driving us out to dinner? My life is full. And hard. And blessed. And easy. And crazy. And cradled in the arms of my God.

Grey Poopon Update

I walked over to chat the neighbor up, which is sort of an understatement because any time I come within 20 feet of their yard, their pack of hunting dogs freak out and bark continuously until I am out of their sight or off of their property. We chatted over the din for a while about the 15 year old driving, and the starting up of each vehicle to keep it running, and how the 15 year old replaced the battery in the Neon, and how the guy neighbor was doing after his surgery and how the crazy stray dog flies and such and such and this and that and then she told me that she had checked the paper and that there were no ads regarding Grey Poopon. Darn. I told her that the 15 year old had made fliers and that I dropped one off at the vet's office on my way home from rehearsal and they suggested putting one up at the post office. Excellent! I'll do that tomorrow! Then it's back to my life across the road. I went and checked on Grey Poopon who now loves me so much that he rolls over onto his back and bares his tummy for me to rub it for him. geesh.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Pardon Me, Would You Have Any Grey Poopon?

THIS is the umteenth stray dog to grace our property with its presence.

It's days like these that make an $11,000 fence not sound so out of reach and/or reason. He showed up this afternoon and of course had our two beasts upset. When I looked out the window, I saw that he wasn't really paying much mind to the owners of the property even though they were jumping and yelling hysterically at him to get the heck out or come real close so they can 'play'. So, I just let him be, figuring that he was on his way to greener pastures and would soon be a bother to someone else's hairy friends. Well; then, there came a knock at the door. The neighbor who is my animal downfall was at the door. It is perfectly impossible to be indifferent to stray animals when this huge-hearted lady is knocking at your door and asking, "Did you know you had a visitor?" Yes. I knew. And then it happened. She saw something. "What's that?" The dog was injured. Super. That's it. Party's over. Now, we must act. God put us over all the animals and all that. (I am slightly ashamed to admit that he also was looking on the thin side) - but in my defense - he WAS wearing a collar. SOMEbody owned this dog. Not this somebody; some other somebody. Okay, so I look down at the appalling gash that she is pointing out and say, "Ohhhhhkaayyyy. Can we get him in the car? What time is it? Is the local vet still open? AND WHAT are we going to DO with him after THAT?" Her response...."I don't know - but i'll pay half of whatever the vet charges." So she coaxes him into the van [MY VAN] with a dog biscuit and I lock the kids in the house and say, "I am going down the street! All the rules apply! Blah blah bl-*slam*" And do my best impression of a doggie ambulance driver who has no lights or sirens and must obey the country road speed limit. The vet was already gone, but the assistants kindly looked at him, and fell in love with his shy armylowcrawling and promptly told me he was definitely a (catahoula) cur, less than two years old, probably about 70lbs, and that this would not need to be stitched up, that he clearly had been taking good care of it himself. "Here's some antibiotics, some ointment and SCRUBBIES so you can clean it up." Huh?? They are both smiling and happy as if everyone on the planet can happily scrub a deep, gaping, fleshy wound. THIS deep, gaping, fleshy wound ....(this is gross - you may want to scroll past)

$10 later (not even gonna charge the neighbor half) and a bunch of coaxing him back to the van [MY VAN] I get him home and the kids spring into action. The rest is heroics of mounting barricades to walls with the super powered power drill and keeping down the angry beasts whose home has been invaded. again. The 15 year old has printed posters to give out at school - and one to post at the vet's, 12 year old boy did the scrubbing of the wound, and 12 year old girl leaned too far too fast in the recliner and bashed her head on the side table. This dog must go.

What's with the Grey Poopon? Okay, well, our dogs are named for their color - and we also think it is fun to try to name them after food. So we have Black Angus, Yellow Madison(which should be margarine but we forgot for a second and madison stuck) and now our temporary lost soul - Grey Poopon. Get it? Poop-on? As in dog...(I am not ashamed to laugh alone.)

Monday, February 4, 2008

How To Prepare For Becoming A Parent (epic)

I got this in an email this evening and nearly FELL out of my bed laughing at it!



Lesson 1

Go to the grocery store.

Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

Go home.

Pick up the paper.

Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already
are parents and berate them about their:

Methods of discipline.

Lack of patience.

Appallingly low tolerance levels.

Allowing their children to run wild.

Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding,
sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it, because it will be the last time in your life you will have
all the answers.

Lesson 3

To discover how the nights will feel...

Walk around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other
obnoxious sound) playing loudly.

At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until

Set the alarm for 3AM.

As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink.

Go to bed at 2:45AM.

Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

Sing songs in the dark until 4AM.

Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.

Look cheerful.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all

Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

Then rub them on the clean walls.

Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it
into an alligator.

Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape
and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas

Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa

Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it
out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like

Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.

Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back

Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

There. Perfect.

Lesson 8

Get ready to go out.

Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.

Go out the front door.

Come in again. Go out.

Come back in.

Go out again.

Walk down the front path.

Walk back up it.

Walk down it again.

Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.

Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every
cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect
along the way.

Retrace your steps.

Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors
come out and stare at you.

Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9

Repeat everything at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can
find to a pre-school child. (A full- grown goat is excellent).

If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.

Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having

Lesson 11

Hollow out a melon.

Make a small hole in the side.

Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the
swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine-month old baby.

Lesson 12

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney,
the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five

Lesson 13

Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway
and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two

Lesson 14

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mommy" repeatedly. (Important:
no more than a four second delay between each "mommy"; occasional
crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car
everywhere you go for the next four years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually
tug on your skirt hem, shirt-sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mommy"
tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with
an adult while there is a child in the room.

I Was Created To Make His Praise Glorious

As I was cleaning my room this morning and completing Monday chores, this song came on my iPod. You can only be happy about making the bed when you are praising the Most High God!

Marvelous Monday wishes to you - now get to praisin'!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Letters From War (excerpts)

..."the Hero flight went out of our fob... we made a formation and saluted when the ambulances drove by...thats how they carry the bodies to the helo pad... I don't know how I managed to stay standing in the formation... I wanted to fall to my knees and pray and cry... especially when I saw the bags they carry them in, just like on tv...but I made it through okay...when I saw a convoy going out earlier I wanted to get on my knees and pray for them right in the street."

Thank You Lord that my husband's eyes and heart are turned towards You in a time and place that it must be so difficult to see You.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

It's A Quirky MeMe

  • JUDITH is an Anglicized spelling of YEHUDIT, from the Hebrew, meaning PRAISE. The letters featured in this word are Yud Hey Vav Dalet Yud Tav. (I never liked my name until I found this out! How cool is that??!!)
  • I can count to 10 in Chinese.
  • I like my mashed potatoes with BUTTER. NO GRAVY. NEVER GRAVY. NEVER EVER GRAVY.
  • And speaking of food, generally I do not like my foods to touch each other on the plate and I eat each food to completion before turning the plate and eating the next.
  • I love collating, stapling, filing....really any type of organization. I dream of IKEA.(wait. is that a separate quirk?)
  • Although I enjoy reading those 'getting to know you' emails I get (and meme's). I rarely ever respond with my own. (feel very special Amber and Kim)
  • **In an effort to be less dignified I will share this: I am an avid sweeper, but can barely bring myself to pick up the piles. Seriously. I am forever leaving a broom propped against a wall protecting its little pile.**(This can be considered the icing on the MEME cake.)

If you are so inclined to join this game, here are the rules. (I've already broken one of them as I am not going to tag anyone.) ooooh I feel so naughty;{)

(1) Link to the person that tagged you.(2) Post the rules on your blog. (3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.(4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Direct Quote

15 year old singing with all the feeling and meaning of a teenager.....

"Release your intermission, feel the rain on your skin! Somethin' somethin' somethin' la la la la la la doo doo doo do doo doo"