Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Apparently We Have A Superhero In Our Midst

This morning when I woke up bright and early to visit the bloggy world before showering and leaving for Praise Team Rehearsal I heard an odd sound. A sound like something falling. Hmmm, could that have been Grey Poopon? Whatever it was, he was securely in the shelter I built for him yesterday and I felt confident that it would be sufficient to stop by there on my way out the door to give him his antibiotic and make sure he had a good supply of food and water. OH, darn - that reminds me that I did not stop in on Marsha's Musings this morning to continue her series of devotions on Psalm 103. Excuse me while I do that - I'll be back in a few minutes.....(or you can come with me - it's proving to be an excellent series)....Okay - I'm back. Wow. She took one verse and just broke it down for me. Perhaps more to blog about later. Now what was I saying? Oh - yes, Grey Poopon. So, I checked my email, and then my bloglines updater and here and there would hear dogsteps that sounded a wee bit close but thought, "Nah, I'm just hearing him in his secure, barricaded area." I caught sight of the time and decided it was time to get dressed. Still hearing dogsteps here and there, but still convincing myself that I'm just imagining them closer than they appear. Got dressed and grabbed my purse, closed my bedroom door behind me and headed down the hallway. Pass the first door on the right which is the bathroom and come to the second door on the right which is 12 year old boy's room. He leaves his door open so that his dogs can go and lay in his room while he is away at school. What do I see in there but this big, bony DOG. WHAT?? AS I am talking to all three of the dogs about the situation and sweet-talking to Poophead Grey Poopon to come with me to his designated area, I begin to see them. Places throughout the house where he has MARKED HIS TERRITORY as though he were Hansel leaving himself a trail to get back home. As I am now muttering to myself about how I wanted to be to rehearsal 30 minutes early so I could set up and make copies and pray at my leisure, I come around the corner and see the barricade that I had installed, still intact and half the stuff that had been ON the counter now on the inside of said barrier all over the floor(some of which actually fell into the food and water bowls left for this 'sick and mamed animal'). Did I mention that there were two barstools stationed in front of the barrier to deter dogs from climbing on either side of it?. So. Here are the possibilities - the dog either jumped over the counter, or jumped over the barricade. We're talking 35 inch-high countertops. (I measured). Oh dear. This is NOT good. "WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU NOW?" The kitchen was the only room I could isolate him in that still had the old 70's faux brick flooring in it, while still allowing the dogs who do their business outside access to the dogdoor. I decided I would just have to put Grey out in the dogyard/kennel and block the door so that he can't come back in and the others will just have to stay in the house until I return from Rehearsal because I can't yet be sure that they'll all be well and good if they have unfettered access to each other. So, I block the dog door, get him in the yard through the outside gate and return to the house to grab my bottle of Clorox Clean Up and my unopened roll of paper towels. As I see my time slipping away, I go around the house de-'marking' and de-grossifying. Just as I am finishing up, I hear the neighborhood dogs flipping a noodle. OH NO. Do NOT even TELL me that that DOG has jumped the kennel fence! Oh yes. The 'sick/injured/starving' dog of yesterday is actually a superhero in disguise who can FLY. So, after coaxing SuperPoop Grey Poopon back to the dogyard, I determine that my next and last option for keeping this doof safe until his people come to claim him is to tie him to the tree in the dogyard. THAT was fun. It became quickly and abundantly evident to me that it had been TOO long since I or any other person currently living in this house had picked up the doggiedoodoo in the kennel. You can imagine how it is that I figured this out. Okay okay - enough with the dog drama - I have GOT to go. I stepped back inside to get my music box rolling cart of pink greatness and purse and loaded up into the car. At which time I see that it is 8:30. This is the time that I had intended to be showing up at the Chapel all leisurely like and uber-prepared. Hmph. It takes 20 minutes to drive to post from my house. And now because of all the exertion I had been doing all morning, I have to eat or croak. I called one of the girls to let her know that I would be late and asked if she could please inform everyone else. I walked IN the activity room door at 9:00. Which is what time rehearsal is scheduled to begin. God must have slowed the time-warp-continuum. More posts to follow...

5 comments:

God's Guitar Girl said...

Change the name of said offender to "Clarence" or "Newman" at kennel to litterbox, and you've got a run-down of an average day at the Hanrahan Hacienda! You're nicer than me, tho; I'd have let him go after his kangaroo-esque behavior in the backyard...

Marsha said...

This is hilarious! I hope you cleaned or changed your shoes! ooooohhhhh, gross!

Marsha said...

PS
Thanks for the kind words!

His Girl said...

this by the way,

seriously your funniest post yet

brilliant use of the strikethroughs

poophead! hahahaha

Jenn said...

What a CRAZY morning!!!!

Don't you love it when God slows down time for ya?! Or as you call it the time-warp-continuum. You are so funny.