Thursday, September 3, 2009

Barium What? Part 1

Yesterday I had the pleasure of having an Upper GI Series with Barium swallow and baking soda crystals.

"What NOW S4J? Seriously, don't you have something else to do besides go to the doctor?"

I really do. But the reality is I have an earthly body that has seen some natural destruction due to life, genetics, aging and environment and general misuse and abuse on my part and that means sometimes things fail.
My current ailment list is kind of lengthy and boring so I won't list them now, and I promise to update when test results are in and we know something conclusive. For the purpose of today's post I will tell you that I have been experiencing chronic severe heartburn (at least it feels severe to me) so I went for a series of x-rays in which they take pictures up and down the upper gastrointestinal organs; esophagus, stomach and something else I can't remember the name of. This is not a medical show people. This is done in different ways depending on the particular purpose of the tests. In the case of this series for me, they first gave me some baking soda crystals to 'shoot' (not kidding. that's what the tech said) She described these as being just like pop-rocks candy from when you were a kid. Except you don't keep them in your mouth, you need to get them straight to your throat and swallow them so they can start making lots of air in your tummy and you are not allowed to burp it out even though you will really feel like it. Swallow it back down.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let's back up a little....

My day started like any other;
Wake up, Husband is not there - he's in another state for work
Take a shower
Load the twins up into the van and follow the 16 year-old in the little purple car as she drives herself to school. *faints*
Oh dear, I've already forgotten what I did next.

Okay fast-forward a little...
I drive up to post to go to the hospital and see the yellow and white canopies that get setup for big events like redeployment ceremonies and fests and the like lined up along the blocked off half of the brand new additional parking. And that's when it starts. You folks who have been at Fort Polk know what's coming; the drive that will make you late for your appointment up and down and up and down and up and down the parking lot looking for a place to park. I kid you not, unless you were a childcare worker or a motorcycle there was not one empty space to be found in the first parking lot. So, I began the drive of doom through the second parking lot. God said, "My gift to you this morning is a nice long leisurely walk in beautiful weather. In order to receive this blessing, you will have to choose one of the last available spaces at the very end of the overflow parking. You're welcome."

Thank You Lord. I actually had plenty of time and was not feeling stressed other than being slightly aggravated at what seemed completely nonsensical blocking of parking they purposely built to help alleviate problems like this, I mean there was no country star with a big black hat and an amplifier crooning from those empty blocked off spaces, but who I am to say?

So to add pleasure to pleasure,(no really, it was a super lovely morning) as I was getting close to the entrance I came upon a friend who has been here a little longer than me and I don't see very often anymore and we had a lovely chat about the woes of facebook, friending/unfriending, crazy updates and the the two giant scars on either side of his ankle where he has had surgeries to correct what he broke in Korea. And then I saw that I now actually only had 9 minutes until my appointment. Okay okay time to go indoors.

Getting checked in was all very pleasant. I waited no time at all to be taken back and start the fun. "Here is the gown you need to change into, you may only keep your underwear and socks. Everything else must go. I will give you extremely quick instructions on how to install the gown with three arm holes onto your body and then send you off to work it out. Yes, you really have to lose the bra too even though it has no under-wire. You will be completely covered."

Some of you may know that I like to take pictures. This visit was an absolute gold-mine of photographic interest to me, but I figured (correctly) that I wouldn't really be able to get good shots of what I was doing and seeing while still making it possible for the techs to get the good shots of my insides that they needed. Plus, I really have no idea how, if at all, x-rays would affect my camera and whether cameras would even be allowed in. Given those odds, the camera stays at home. *sigh* However after manufacturing a third arm and getting all the little holes filled and in their proper places, I sat down in the chair and waited for the tech to finish her prepping and asked her if I could have brought my camera.

"Uhh, well....I don't think there are any rules against it...although no one has ever wanted to take pictures before....I suppose it could be done...."

*Methinks they have and just never asked*

I see that this post is turning rather long, so I will end here and get back to the story later because I have exciting news to share: I am published. :) PWOCI Blog . Look for "McWitness".

AND, I also wanted to share this song with you. It's a Hillsong United song, but I chose this video because these two are just too cute and sweet. It's a bit long, so turn up the volume and get some dusting done while you listen!



Vindiciti said...

I so didn't see you at the hospital today. I did, however, see the yellow tents. God did the opposite for me, and gave me the idea to try and park in the miniscule area they left unbarricaded, most of which was handicapped and expecting mother parking. The guy waved at me, oking that I wanted to park there. After a quick walk and check-in, and a lightning fast wait (10 minutes!!) in the Green Team waiting area, I was checked in. I saw the doc almost immediately after, and she not only treated my mole spot but gave recommendations for other issues. I think, after seeing her, I'll be skin issue free! Praise JESUS!

IdahoAngie said...

Why did I not know about the PWOC when my husband was in the marines?

And hope all is well and loved your post about praising God. Same here with the loud praise and worship music when I am alone in my car.

MyShilohRanch said...

I can so relate to your test. When I had one, the technician directed, "Gas her, roll her, and shoot her." I swear to you, I about died laughing! *barium shooters humor* lol

Becky said...

Weren't pop-rocks banned at one time for causing some girls stomach to explode?

LOOOOOOVED your McWitness story!

Gretchen said...

I hope everything goes well for you, S4J.

His Girl said...

how on earth am I just now reading this post?

where's part two?

(because I know you have nothing better to do/think about)