Let's face it. I am a cold fish. Truth be told, I prefer it that way. Emotions are messy. So, what on earth made me think it would be fun to drive for 6 hours to see my dear friend celebrate wedding nuptials? The same friend who I have walked with since the moment her young husband died and left her with 2 young children 4 years ago. The same friend who I have watched praise the Lord that she did not grieve as those who have no hope. The same friend who I watched as she slowly, with fear and trembling yet beautiful hope, open her heart to the possibility of new love. I couldn't even make it through the rehearsal this afternoon without turning into a mess. I don't like it people. Tomorrow I will watch a man, a good man who's eyes sparkle when he looks at her take her hand and accept the gift of her beautiful heart. I will watch him accept the hands of her children and promise to love them as he loves her. I am feeling absolutely overwhelmed at the intensity of my joy and hope for her and her future. I don't cope well with this level of emotion. It feels like an assault and apparently, I did not behave well as a result. I wonder if I could watch the video of the wedding from my closet with a box of tissues and some chocolate chip cookie dough truffles where no one could see me. And then I could just stay there for like a week while I recover my composure. I think that's reasonable.
Come high noon tomorrow, if you do not see me at the Chapel ~ I will be here. Hiding. My new house for the next 2 nights...
They graciously offer this water bottle right in your room. They claim it will relax and refresh you for only $1.50 but I checked the ingredients list and nowhere did it say "valium" or "medicinal marijuana" so I do not believe the claims.
Ps - Tomorrow I get to post a couple of the Bridal Portraits I took of her. :)
Lordy! Busy day! I have only time to put up some pics from today. I will try to do more as we go, but geesh. I just don't know. Maybe Whimzie or Hisgirl will have a better story about today with more details...
These are what fun look like. What a wonderful day and I have made a stack of memories that will touch my heart and make me smile in the future.
I am blessed to know these women. And look how sweet they are to me....
I have this friend. She loves me. Exactly me. In the world of understanding me, she is only second to God. ALL of me. And loving me. ALL of me. She doesn't ask me to put down who I am, or to stop being who I am or to change who I am (or any parts thereof) because she loves who I am and she loves to be with the me who is who I am. In her love, she joins me in my muck, but never lets me stay there. She points me to the Cross when I look to the flesh. She is that person who would drop her life upon one simple request to come to my side (and has), and she is THAT person that you would WANT to drop their life to come to your side because you know she will make things better for having been there rather than be another person you have to care for and she will never make you feel burdened or guilty for the great sacrifice it takes.
She is on her way here. I will have her full-time for a week. A week of merriment, MIRL's, festivities and a whole lot of being ME.
I heard an interesting theory about Paul the Apostle in Bible study yesterday...the basic point that I took away from it was that Paul was looking for just the right way to describe what he wanted to describe and had to keep trying different words because they didn't quite give the full depth of understanding that he was trying to convey. Hence - his writings are rather wordy.
That is what I will have to say here. There are no good words that can describe to you who HisGirl is to me. There is no good title.
Well, the list seems to keep growing but I wanted to publish it here for your pleasure anyway. I have already experienced a new sense of peace and even fun when waiting to this music. I pray that you will as well!
1. Enough ~ Chris Tomlin 2. Wait ~ Big Daddy Weave 3. In the Waiting ~ FFH 4. So I Will Trust You ~ Sovereign Grace Music 5. Everlasting God ~ Chris Tomlin 6. Psalm 40 ~ Steve Bell 7. Wait ~ Anthony Evans 8. While I Am Waiting ~ John Waller 9. I Waited (Psalm 40) ~ The Maranatha! Singers 10. Waiting Room ~ Shane & Shane 11. The Remedy ~ Ayiesha Woods 12. Waiting Room ~ Jonny Diaz 13. Unwritten (from "The Sing-off") ~ Voices of Lee 14. Wait (Psalm 40) ~ The Message: Psalms 15. Be Still ~ Kari Jobe 16. Fight ~ Ayiesha Woods 17. Dear Friend ~ Charlie Peacock 18. Psalm 40 ~ NewSong 19. So Good To Me ~ Cory Asbury 20. Glory ~ Selah & Nichole Nordeman
*A prize is being delivered to me tomorrow* More on that later...
The kids have been sick. It's been like slow-motion dominoes around here. One gets sick, I disinfect like crazy, a few days later the next one gets sick - rinse and repeat. With sick child number three the nurse told me to be sure to throw her toothbrush away once she has been on the antibiotics for 3 days. WHAT? HUH? #1 - I can't BELIEVE I did not think of their toothbrushes sitting all together bumping each other and all rubbing on one tube of toothpaste. #2 - I REALLY can't believe that none of the health officials dealing with us until now thought to mention this little tidbit about avoiding a recurrence of extremely contagious and raunchy strep throat!
Behold the streptobrothel...
A hotbed of communicable disease. This tenant has now been evicted from our property with extreme prejudice!
We've all been there. Waiting for answers from the doctor, waiting for our insurance to approve a referral, waiting for that special someone to propose, waiting for our spouse to come home from far away lands, waiting to know if we got the job, waiting for our kids to move out. eh hem. You get the point.
I've been doing a lot of waiting in recent days, and in all honesty - I am ALWAYS waiting for something. Whenever the circumstance of having to wait arises my first response is an audible sigh of impatience and my toe starts tapping.
I had an "AHA" moment today. Another one of those times where a commonly used scripture moves (in my mind) from the 'placation' category to the 'THAT'S God's plan and it is good' category.
Today that scripture is Isaiah 40:31:
Yet those who wait for the Lord Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary. (NASB)
The Message Paraphrase begins its emphasis on this verse in verse 27
Isaiah 40:27-31 Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or, whine, Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath. And he knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.
Hm. Why would you ever complain? Can I tell you that I am not now, suddenly happy to be waiting for the things which I am waiting for (With the exception of GGG's wedding cause the anticipation of that absolutely wonderful event is like electricty! - but it sure wasn't fun waiting for the proposal. just sayin.) However I am purposing today, this moment that I will worship IN the waiting because I know that God is good and His timeline, His plans, His will are perfect. He can and does do far better than I can ask or imagine, and more to the point - He can and does do far better than I can do myself. "Knowing this, S4J - why would you ever complain?" I will work to rejoice when God says, "Wait."
And to that end, I am posting this video of a song that makes the idea of waiting feel good and right - and I am making a 'waiting' playlist on my ipod. Another thing I know about God is that He doesn't leave us without tools to do the things He asks us to do. I challenge you today to find as many uplifting and/or godly songs about waiting and bind them together in a way that will see you through and encourage you in the waiting.
In fact, leave the titles in the comments so I can add them to My playlist too!
Ps - Tomorrow I get to post a couple of the Bridal Portraits I took of her. :)
