Wednesday, January 30, 2008

He Aint Hunchback, He's My Brother...

Okay. He's not my brother but today he at least looks like a distant cousin. Just call me Quasimona. My neck and jawline have been invaded by acne alien implants the plague. I've gained so much weight since my Hysterectomy that I look as though I am pregnant; and I could say, "I think I am one of those women who just thinks they are getting fat but it turns out they have a giant tumor," except I already got to use that card in 2005 - hence; Hysterectomy. Okay - I'm not a hunchback, so let's call it hunchfront. Then there is my walk limp swagger; a direct result of spraining my ankle. Because I have been babying my left foot, my right hip has become very sore. You can imagine what that looks like in strut form. I have a grotesque growth ganglion cyst on the top of my wrist which is a direct result of shelling pecans by hand. Moving on to my hair. I live in the South. Humidity. Badly neglected haircut hair in need of a trim. Need I say more? I even wear slip on clogs which have long outlived their pretty days. Plus the last two days I have been feeling raunchy so my skin is a little green and clammy. It's all leaving me crying out for "Thankshoowaywe"


Jenster said...

Aw, Honey. I bet you don't look near as bad as you make yourself sound. Which as bad as you made yourself sound isn't saying a whole lot! lol

I know exactly what you mean about the weight thing since having a hysterectomy. Who'd ever guess two little blobs would hold such sway over our fat cells? Stupid blobs.

His Girl said...

i just heard you yelling out "THANKSHOOOWAREEEE" and had a little laugh about it.

My friend, I understand how it feels to get the 'ugs' I know how a bad hair day and painful growths and weight gain can make you feel icky pretty quickly, but I just want to remind you that

you are fearfully and wonderfully made

now. go get a haircut and a new blouse, and for heaven's sake some new clogs. Then, hold your head high for our Father sees you as only His wonderful daughter :)

and i think you are one beautiful chickkie too!

Jenn said...

Well said HG - I could not have said it any better myself.

I need a haircut too - haven't had it cut since August. Let's make our appointments today!

Have a wonderful day!! :o)


Jenster said...

I'm doing laundry and ironing - having quite an UG day myself - but I'm listening to my praise songs on the iPod, singing along and I've got these most wonderful cleansing tears streaming down my face.


His Girl said...

I forgot to mention that your sense of humor in the midst of an UG day was


I think that you seriously are one of the funniest people I know. Very, very, very funny post.

God's Guitar Girl said...

That was hot. :)

Shauna said...

I understand the 'ugs'. But you're beautiful, and very funny, self shines through. His Girl said it beautifully. You are perfect in His eyes!

mel said...

Keep these friends! They know how to encourage all of us! Thanks!

Hey, it was cool to IM you on my cell phone! There service was bad so I kept fading in and out.

Have a peaceful night!

Marsha said...

You are hilarious! I needed a good laugh. I've been sick all week and trying to catch up on visiting with you. I'm glad I came.